Dear Mr. Backspace,

i would like to apologize for the abuse that i have given you over the years. You must look at me with the same fear and trepidation that an ant feels at the site of the nike swoosh falling swiftly from the sky. You must wince everytime you see me and my cohorts attempt to come up with something witty, or intelligent, as this inevitably ends up at your expense. i can't imagine the pain i cause you with each TLAK, WAHT, JSUT and TEH that need correcting. Well things are going to change my friend. It is my wish we could be pals. And we WILL be pals. i will take the following steps which should creat a safer and more

Thouh it is not my fault that Mr. Cerebrum, to which i am attached, cannot formulate complete sentences nor spell correctly, i will make a concerted effort to go easier on you. Anytime that he decides that he wants to woo, he will have to settle for the first thought that comes to mind. "Hey babe, nice Rack.....no no no not good....um ..... Hey there was your daddy a ...... no no...... Hello there how are you doing? You are looking lovely today. yeah thats it" will just have to be " Hey babe, nice Rack". It is unfair to you to have to endure such waffling. It is too much to ask of you and frankly i won't stand for it.

Though it is not my fault that Mr. Encephalon finds it so much more entertaining to write with big words that showcase his sagacity, i will demand it's cessation. "Hello Rhi, you are certainly looking pulchritudinous this wondrous afternoon" will have to becomde "Yo Bitch.... you are FINE!!!" Both mean the same thing, though the latter is a far more humanitarian option for you Mr. Backspace.

In summation, Mr. Backspace i guess i never realized teh pain i put you through and sorta took you for granted. i took that cheap typing tutor progam, and thought that was good enough. But i know now, looking down at your poor, faded lettering and almost indecypherable left pointing arrow, and i see that the tutor was not enough! It is my hope that the aforementioned steps, coupled with my greater awareness of your plight, will result in a bater (see i saved you there) experience for the both of us.

Sincerely yours,

Right Pinky