Well a day has passed since I came to the life shattering understanding that any shred of coolness I once possessed, has passed. And things have spiraled downward ever since. Once again, I came home from class all excited to get in the kitchen and whip up something good for dinner. I popped in the latest offering from Green Day (actually this is the one cool aspect to this story�great fucking cd!) and scoured the fridge for ideas. I then realized that I had close to nothing in the fridge. So I then decided to come up with my own concoction. I noticed I had a full package of sliced pepperoni some mozzarella cheese but no crust. So I decided to improvise. Excitedly I thought that it would be cool to turn a couple flour tortillas into crust, and it worked! I dipped the bottom tortilla in olive oil, added garlic, basil, oregano and some shredded mozzarella cheese, and put another tortilla on top! Instant crust! It actually turned out fucking awesome, but as I was doing back flips and cartwheels to my latest genius, culinary recipe it dawned on me that I was doing it again. Getting excited about cooking on a Friday night! Uncoolness in full swing�again�dammit

The downward spiral continued when the phone rang just after I finished doing my �Tortilla Pizza is the Mutherfucking Shit� dance. It was my brother-in-law. I know I was in for trouble when he started off the conversation with �uh Pat I have a proposition�both good aspects to it and bad aspects to it.� Turns out that my almost 15 year old niece and her best friend want to go to some ROCK AND ROLL concert, but the parents of both would like two responsible, adult chaperones to go with them. 12 minutes later, after I picked myself up off of the floor from laughing at the notion of he or I being two responsible and adult, chaperones, I asked for more information. Turns out the concert is:

Upon close inspection of this list of bands you will find Good Charlotte, the same band that my aforementioned niece/goddaughter told me I was uncool for liking. Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes. I didn�t let on to the bro in law, that I liked Good Charlotte as much as I do, I played it �cool�. He said I would be doing her a big favor, so I agreed. I also have the Keane cd, so I figure it would be cool to see them and Good Charlotte. As for the other bands I�m not quite sure, but seeing Slash and Duff from Guns and Roses will be pretty cool, but anyway I am digressing�

So here I am 10 years removed from camping out for tickets while doing nitrous balloons at Dead shows, to chaperoning two 15 year olds at their first ROCK AND ROLL CONCERT. I have a tough role here. I have to be the �adult� �don�t do drugs, drink or let any guys look at you� person and at the same time try to be as �cool� as possible. I mean I don�t want them thinking that I�m the poser that I am, or that I am uncool, I have to dupe them. So I figured that I better figure out what to wear! Stat!

So I scoured my extensive wardrobe and wanted to come up with a cool shirt that would show the teenagers and 20somethings that I was cool just like them. Fortunately I have a very cool brother that buys me very cool shirts.

I figured Frank Poncharello, Swinger shirt, would be just the remedy to hide my adult chaperoneness. I would fit in, and be just another young, hip concert goer!

Next I realized that I had to pick the most ROCKIN jeans I could find! So I searched my collection of Wranglers and found these

See the hole? The rip? I mean how fucking cool is that! They just ooze radical, ROCKIN, party, non responsible attire! I�m set! My niece can now rest assured her �responsible adult chaperone�, will truly be incognito, and thus she will surely be saved any such embarrassment.

Now my question to you fine people is this. Am I even more uncool now that I have become an official Teenager Rock Concert Adult Chaperone? Or does it make me a tad cooler, to be going to a Rock Concert, dressed like a ROCKER? Your honest comments would be greatly appreciated�