I have a lot of catching up to do in order to bring to you the 30 entries in 30 days on time! I slacked big time this weekend, cause I am a slacker. But I will make it up to you and will have to do two-a-days for the next few days in order to get this accomplished! Today�s entry won�t really be that funny and I don�t know why im writing it really, but I came across some old slides that I have been scanning for a Christmas project that I have been slacking on finishing. I came across this picture�

Ok ok�. I am back. Whew� As I was saying�this picture remind me of a story and a lesson I learned and I was going to tell it to you in an all boring style, but I figured it would put you to sleep fast. That being said, I have always wanted to write a children�s book. Seems like a piece of cake�Just write the letter A and draw a big A with pple next to it, under a picture of an apple. Draw the letter B with itch next to it, under a picture of Martha Stewart�and so on. Piece of cake. But people are making money off this. So I figured I would take a stab at it. I bombed badly with the Dr Seuss Entry but I will try once again. It is my solemn promise to you, my friends, that I will never attempt another serious stab at children�s literature if this one suffers a similar fate!

Johnny was a school boy, when he learned his first Beatle Song. Love Me Do, I think it was, from there it didn�t take him long�Johnny had a good friend Timmy, who lived next door. Timmy and Johnny would play together every day, but don�t get me wrong, Timmy and Johnny surely weren�t gay! They just liked to play football, invisible Russians and Atari all day!

Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa was coming�.and not necessarily to town, when he dropped off a totally radical, shiny, new Green Machine to the wrong house. He bestowed this wondrous gift to Timmy, who obviously didn�t deserve such a prize�

Someone up at the Peter North Pole, obviously got the lists mixed as it was totally fucking clear that it was Johnny that asked for this toy like 9000 times and shit. Johnny actually sat on Santa�s lap at Sears and told him clearly��I want a Green Machine�. Yet Johnny ended up getting a bunch of games designed to, like make him learn and stuff�but anyway I digress back to our story�

So Jeremy�I mean Timmy would proudly race his HOT new ride all over town. He�d take it for a spin around both cul de sacs�occasionally venturing to the playground even! Meanwhile, Johnny would sit there, with no wheels, lamenting how someone so undeserving and uncool could get so lucky. He would watch as Timmy would leave it out in the rain with no regard for its well being. As time went by, he noticed Timmy had less and less of a desire to ride it. He grew sick of the wondrous toy, and seemed disinterested in it, much to the chagrin (that means being pissed off, kids) of Johnny�

So one day when they were out back, killing Russian Commies or something, Johnny asked Timmy why he doesn�t ride the Green Machine anymore. �Man that�s boring anymore� Mom�s getting me a HUFFY this weekend! Green Machines are lame!� Upset at hearing this Timmy responded �But they have those levers that make you spin and stuff! I mean that is totally cool, you have to admit! I would kill to be so lucky, as to have a Green Machine! You shouldn�t take it for granted, it�s a great toy!� Timmy just sorta shrugged it off and they continued on playing Invisible Russians�. For those of you that don�t know, invisible Russians, essentially is finding a stick in the back yard that most closely resembles a rifle, and pretending to save the world from the scourge of the Russian Commie Bastards that were going to invade America at any second�

but back to the story�

So the years passed for Johnny, Green Machineless� He would ask Timmy for a ride on it and that seemed to be the only time he showed any interest in riding it. This always seemed to perplex Timmy. Why does it seem that he only likes the Green Machine when someone else takes I liking to it? Does he really like it or not? He leaves it out to rust in the ran, the decals are falling off etc� Oh well, he thought to himself. His birthday would be coming up soon and surely he would score one of his own and all would be well in the world! So his birthday came, and he too, got�a fucking HUFFY! This should have made him happy and it did to a degree, but it was no Green Machine and that left him feeling sad. How could his parents NOT have gotten him a Green Machine! So he asked his Mom and she said that she couldn�t find one, and made up one of those Mom white lies, that they don�t make them anymore. But maybe she was right, maybe Timmy�s was the only wondrous ride ever made! He had never seen one like it on Earth, so maybe it WAS true�

So he sat on his front porch looking glum when all of a sudden a man walked up to him and sat down next to him�

Man: Hey there keeeeed. Why you look so down?
Johnny: Timmy got a Green Machine and I can�t have one. Mom says it�s a one of a kind and he just is a lucky one. And I�m the loser�
Man: Man�stop your jibby jabbering fool! Your mom is right Timmy may have a Green Machine�.but don�t do drugs! You hear me? Don�t do Drugs!
Johnny: Huh mister?
Man: Stay in school�don�t do drugs! Drugs are for suckers! I smash drug users like a bean pie you hear?
Johnny: Uh�Mom told me not to talk to strangers!
Man: I ain�t no stranger fool�.Come with me and get in this van sucker!
Johnny: Wow ok! Cool VAN Mister!

So Johnny left his Mom a note saying that he left, with a man with a Mohawk hairdo, gold chains and M16s but would be back in time for supper� �So what�s your name Mister?� Johnny asked. �T. I�m Mr.T�stay in school. It�s all about the keeds.�

Johnny ended up staying with T, for many years. He witnessed many great things along the way and had many great adventures. There was the time that they got locked up in the barn with a forklift, 900 gallons of gasoline, some tubing and 6000 heads of lettuce. Boy that was a hoot! Then there was the time that they broke Uncle Murdock out of the hospital by getting him some trash bags� oh the fun he had! He grew up on the run and lived an exciting, wonderful life and all was well. Then one day, he read that Huffy had come out with a new version of the old Green Machine, and it took him back to that day and all those feelings, and he found himself realizing that his life, for some reason would never be complete without that thing�

Then T noticed this and commented�

T: Hey fool you crazier than Murdock�what you want that old toy for!
Johnny: Man cause it was a one of a kind, like your van or that Chick Amy the reporter�s rack�one of a kind man!
T: Man stop your jibby jabbering fool� who told you life is fair? Stay in school! Don�t do drugs sucker!
Johnny: True man! Very true!
T: And another thing fool�stop doing that with your head man! Don�t try that exorcist shit with me! I�ll make you feel pain sucka!!!! And to all you kids out there�stay in school�. Don�t do drugs�.

The End�

Oh and I DO realize that this wasn�t done yesterday so I never got my two-a-day thing done. But I was busy doing stuff, I promise that I will have two for you tomorrow�as far as you know.