Earth-like planet discovered-like 50 light-years away

Planet is smallest known outside our solar system�.

Cnn.com reports today that scientists have found a discovery that has shocked and awed many astro-experts. They have found a planet 14 times the mass of our own, which revolves around a sun similar to ours.

Experts saying that the terrain could be rocky, with a thin atmosphere�.a sort of �Super Earth�, fully equipped with Super K, Super Wal Mart and Super Mario Brothers. �Not only is the planet one of the few non gaseous planets,� explained Portuguese researcher Pablo Abacus, �but you can super size your fries while getting your film processed!�

This �Super Earth� is much more streamlined and efficient. It�s tight orbit around it�s sun takes a paltry 10 days as compared to the 365 days it takes our earth lumber around our sun. �The excitement this discovery brings the scientific community is of astronomical proportions� said lead astronomical proportionalist Jack Tors. �Through intense study of Super Earth we should be able to make the necessary changes to increase our earths efficiency and gas mileage. This could be greatest thing to happy to the scientific community since the pocket protector! 36.5 times faster, 36.5 times the amount of drunken birthday parties, with 36.5 times the amount of strippers!�

Reaction to the news of Super Earth, has been varied on boring and otherwise un-newsworthy regular earth:

�The President is aware of the recent discovery of Super Earth� White House press secretary Scott McClellan announced yesterday �He is excited at the opportunity this presents to the scientific community to further our knowledge of our own planet and the potential for improving our own environmental problems.�

�Fuck Yeah! Man that�s fucking cool is shit!� University of Wisconsin Pi Delta Gamma president and Law School student, Tim Rucker said at the annual Pi Delta Gamma Kegstand 2004 convention. �i mean sometimes when i think about it�. we are on this globe, spinning and shit�.and maybe there is like another guy just like me�.. on some other, cough, planet and shit. It can make your head spin!�

The enthusiasm however isn�t for The United states alone. Take for example, dust farmer Olikie Kuayande of Sudan who pondered �Does this mean no more tribal leaders raping and beheading my kids wife, friends, family, livestock and stealing my food?�

However there is no denying that enthusiasm is sweeping the US at the idea of a super earth. Cybersquatters rushed to register superearth.com; superearthmakesearthlooklikeshit.com and superearth-hot-teen-sluts.com. Bumper stickers such as �Proud parent of a 219 year old!� and �I can�t drive 2007.5� were flying off the the shelves the shelves this week, as consumers get swept up in Super Earth Mania!

Though with Super Earth mania hitting a feverish pitch this week, there are still a few that haven�t quite jumped on the bandwagon. �Super Earth�.huh?� inquired Crawford Texas Rancher George W. Bush, �Well�uh�um�.� When presented with a picture of an artist�s rendering of the newly discovered orbit, he seemed to catch on, high-fived me and added �Fuck Yeah! That looks neat!�

No denying the excitement and enthusiasm the world feels at this moment. One can only hope that we can learn from Super Earth, and not only from its efficient orbit or its snazzy sun like sun. But from the potential for our own Earth, to come together, united, and maybe one day we can be super!

Editor�s note: This just in�Scientist�s have spotted an even Faster, better and more economical Super Duper earth in the same solar system as super earth. It appears to orbit their sun in 8.88 days in an orbit that could be a threat, to the very existence of Super Earth!

An artist�s rendering of Super Duper Earth:

Details to come�