These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

The landfall of Hurricane Frances in Florida, has led to today�s topic. The idea came to me, while watching some news� channel�s �exclusive coverage� of the mass exodus of southern Floridians. I wondered, what would I do if I was to leave my soon to be wrecked abode behind, possibly forever? I figured that I would take my truck, load it up, and get the hell out of there! My truck contains 4560 square inches of space in which to pack my most precious of all of my belonging�

480 square inches devoted to my Yamaha, nylon stringed, underappreciated, beautiful sounding, and underused, classical guitar. I got my first real six string. Oh at the guitar center. I played it until my fingers bled. Back in the summer of �99. My buddy Nick and I had this thing where we would go out and blow our paychecks on Saturdays. We called it the Saturday Purchasing club. There was a catch, however. Nick made about 4 times as much as me, so it was A LOT more fun for him. Anyway, we went to Guitar Center on Colorado blvd, in Denver. And there she was sitting there, shining bright in the glow of the florescent tubes above her. And right next to that beautiful, blonde babe with big tits, was this guitar. I played it and really liked the sound, and it was �only� $400, so I took it. I don�t play it nearly as well as this guitar deserves, but I would never leave her behind in a hurricane, nor would I kick her or the guitar out of bed for eating crackers�

3 square inches of glove compartment space to my most beloved of beloved objects, the marble and the broken pencil�These 2 items are more precious than gold, more powerful than 1000 bolts of lightning. These 2 items stay with me forever�

424 square inches of bench seating for my trusty AMD Athlon processed supercomputer and scanner. All my music, movies, photos and pornos, are embedded on this puppy. This box of circuitry, wires and blinking lights, is my telephone, television, DVD player, stereo and Late Night Adult Entertainment, all rolled into one!

8 square inches of dashboard space, are put aside for my $24.99 Concord 2040 digital Camera. Not only is this camera completely state of the art, when compared to the Concord 2039 digital Camera, but it is light weight and takes great 20 or 30 mean pics. My only problem with it is that the �Make Pat Look Handsome� feature apparently doesn�t work...

165 square inches of next to me on the deluxe, vinyl bench seating, are reserved for my 500+ audio cds. Ranging anywhere from Iron Maiden to Strauss to Strunz and Farah to Loverboy to Johnny Cash to Pat Clarke the Master of the Pan Cake, it is an eclectic bunch to say the least, but without music I would go crazy�.Come to think of it, I haven�t listened to music in a while��.hmmmmmm�..

28 square inches of driver�s side bench seating devoted to my schlong�. 1400 square inches of cab room go to my prized delusions of grandeur�

340 square inches of primo truck bed space are the sole possession of all of my books, including the following: Boring computer books, The Joy of No Sex, Ben Franklin Bio, Lies, Various Stephen King novels, Masterbation for Dummies, Paul O�Neil�s book about his dad, How to Write the Worst Journal Entry Ever Without Really Trying, Generation X, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Good Book, The Bad Book and I�m Only One Man by Regis Philbin. Wherever I will be, I will need good reading material�

500 square inches of whatever is available, truck bed space, are intended for my wardrobe. 500 inches of cloth that would make the editor of GQ green with envy. I have been called many names in my life, but �poorly dressed�, �slob�, �hobo� and �dork� have only been used with the utmost respect and admiration for my style�

175 square inches of super duper special trunk bed space for my DVD collection. I don�t know where I will be after this evacuation, and I am sure that I won�t smell good. But I do know this, I know that TV sucks, and I will want to have my movies to watch. Seldom do a go a week without seeing Office Space, a Twilight Zone episode or a Bill Murray movie. But perhaps the one thing I can not do without is my precious copy of Kingdom of the Spiders�.William Shatner�s finest work of record�.cept of course his record of Rock and Roll cover songs, which I happen to have brought with me on cd�

Exactly 0 square inches of space for combs, brushes, shampoo, jogging shoes, couth, class, dumbbells, barbells, any bells for that matter, watches, clocks and timepieces of any sort.

500 delicately packed inches for all of my framed things. Frank Zappa Eulogy poster, Strunz and Farah autographed cd cover, Signed letter and pic from Bill Clinton, beautiful Jaeger snapshot, and TV/Vcr National Correspondence School Degree amongst others�

536 of jumbled up random space for my insecurities about myself, laziness, tardiness, jealousy, empathy, apathy, worries, fears, hopes, dreams, love, hate, laughs, smiles, cries and sighs.

1 inch to grow an inch, wherever needed�

In such a situation you are only able to bring those things that are most important to you. You have to make a serious decision in a short amount of time, with space limitations. I have left off numerous possessions, which I may end up missing, but the ones I have brought are the ones that I would not want to live without.

Please feel free to email me your lists�.