I was browsing the various Diaries on Diaryland last night and it dawned on me that my entries appear to be somewhat deviant from the norm. Most people don�t talk about their schlong or penis that much, as a matter of fact I think that most of the people on here actually don�t have a penis if you can imagine that�weirdoes! I was talking to my roommate about this phenomenon and he looked at me sorta strange and said �yeah Pat�they�re called WOMEN!� Regardless of these non schlong having, �women� people, it is clear to me that my journal is different in this and in many other ways. Most of the penised and non penised journalers on here seem to talk about certain events that happen throughout the day and the feelings that they have about those events. So I figured that it would be cool for me to write about the events and feelings that me and my penis had in a day. Today was a typical day in my life, so I thought you�d all find it interesting to know what a typical day is like for someone so atypically interesting such as myself. So without any further ado�I present to you January 6, 2005, a time capsule in the life of Pat.

8:00 am EST � I woke up later than usual today after a pleasant night�s sleep eager to take on the challenges and adventures of the day ahead. I stretched my arms out and let out a barbaric yalp, and got out of bed and headed for the shower. While in the bathroom I utilized the other services available at my disposal. I brushed my tooth, shaved off my stubble, dropped the kids off at the pool and peed in a pumpkin. By that time, the water for the shower was hot enough and I went in with my penis and cleansed myself�naked as the day I was born!

8:00 am CST � After getting out of the shower, I grabbed a look at my to do list and got to work on it right away. I put on my jogging shoes and ran 8 miles, uphill in the snow. I then did 500 push ups and sit ups, 6 sets of curls and 4 sets of bench, barbells and dumbbells and stuff. Not feeling like I had pushed myself hard enough, I did tae bo, tae chi and tae stick. Feeling satisfied and naturally high, I decided a good meal was in order�

8:00 am MST � I didn�t really feel like cooking too much, so I just decided to eat some fruit, yogurt and toast and head out and run some errands when all of a sudden my cell phone rang. And my friend Veronica was on the phone and wanted to know, if I didn�t have any plans, whether or not I would like to have sex on the beach with her. �These calls really get old� I remember thinking to myself. This is certainly not the first time she has called me, wanting no strings sex, at the last second� So I looked down at my �to do� list and luckily for Veronica, doinking a supermodel on the beach, was number 23, and seeing as how I was heading east on the Beltway, I figured may as well� �I�ll meet you at 8 am, same place� I told her. �8 am but its�� �Pacific time baby�.we�re on Pacific time now!�� So I mosey on overed to the beach, picked up a bottle of Boones Farm, Strawberry Hill along the way. I figured I�d make it special.

Pat and Veronica chillen like the villains they are.

8:00 am PST � So I made it to the beach in record time and Veronica was happy to see me as always. She immediately jumped my bones and took advantage of me and ways that I can�t share on a family site such as this. But let�s just say we had a blast! After upon hours of ecstasy I informed a disappointed Veronica that I had to leave. I had a tight schedule and frankly I had better things to do, than get drunk on a beach with a half naked chick all day. So we made whoopee one last time and I was off, like a prom dress to continue you my typical day�

8:00 am AKST � I got back in the Ferrari, and headed home. Not traffic and was pretty much smooth sailing on the road. I made it back in time EXACTLY on time to catch my TV show. You will find out more about my TV show later this weekend when I do a review�.

8:00 am HST � Watched my TV show but sans my partner in crime who was unavoidably detained today.

2:00 pm EST - (sorry I couldn�t figure out what came after Hawaii) � Handed out free lunches at the local soup kitchen in town, helped a poor old lady across the street and helped construct a brand new jungle gym at the local orphanage. It really makes me feel good to help all the little people�they�re so cute!!!

3:00 pm EST � I got a phone call from Veronica thanking me for joining her on the beach earlier. I hate how they have to call you like hours after you leave. I mean shit give me some space bitch! I told her to stop calling me or I�d have to get another restraining order on her. I don�t want to go through THAT again.

4:00 pm EST � I have been jotting down notes on my day for tonight�s entry and I never realized it before but it seems that every event in my daily life happens promptly at the top of the hour. I sit on the couch and ponder whether or not this a good thing or not and I do another tae stick workout�.Mood: High.

5:00 pm EST � I grab my guitar and I write 12 songs for an upcoming cd that I am working on. I have a pen name of sorts for my recordings, Yngwie Malmsteen� the working title for this disc is �Love Songs That Get Me Laid And Stuff�. Keep an eye out for it! Should be in stores soon!

6:00 pm EST � Ordered a pizza and sat down at the computer to write a journal entry on how neato sex is, and how great I am at it, but found it to be redundant and a silly topic, so I just downloaded porn and pirated some songs. I was shocked, btw, to find out there is free porn on the internet. Did you all know this? I for one, was under the impression that the internet was for the sole (soul? �shit which one is it? Sole is a fish and soul is a type of train�I�ll go with the fish and keep it) purpose of browsing enlightening and though provoking material�though actually looking at this chick do the double a, is quite enlightening and for that matter, I got some wild thoughts�.so I guess the net IS just for porn. But I digress�so I sat at the computer provoking my brain, and it made me happy. Mood: The world is beautiful!

10:00 pm EST � Holy fucking Shit! Look at the goddamn time! My to do list is fucking shattered� who woulda thunk that a guy could just stare at naked women for hours on end! Hell, not me. Well now that my list is shot I figured when in Rome�and my penis seemed to like it, so I downloaded some Hungarian honeys and some Bavarian Boobies and some Might Morphin Milfs and then some Rocking Redheads a few Buxom Blonde Bimbos and a couple Penis Pleasing Prettys�.Mood: Me and penis are ecstatic!

11:00 pm EST � I logged onto diary land, and lied.

12:00 pm (or is it am? I can never fucking figure this out. I�m going to call it pm but what I really mean is midnight!) � I went to bed and dreamed of Rubiccus Plant Scientists.

Overall Mood � Moody